How To Avoid Shut Downs
Kids with learning differences, including dyslexia, can easily get frustrated with academics. Sometimes that frustration results in the child shutting down and refusing to work. Even worse, it sometimes results in tears.
This can happen any time of day, but kids often seem more stressed at home with their parents than they do at school. This might be for several reasons. First, kids are more tired in the afternoon and evening after they have spent hours at school struggling to keep up. Second, they often feel more comfortable with their family, so they let their emotions show more. Many parents describe homework time as "homework wars" because each night turns into a battle between parent and child to get assignments completed.
Here are some strategies to avoid shut downs:
1. Take the Blame:
If your child makes a mistake, consider taking the blame yourself. By doing so, you create a safe space for your child, preventing feelings of shame or embarrassment. For instance, if a spelling word is misspelled, a simple shift in response can make a significant impact. Say, "Oops, I think I pronounced that word wrong. Let me say it more clearly, and let's try again." This approach not only preserves their confidence but also encourages a resilient mindset.
2. Start with a Positive:
Positivity can be a transformative force in overcoming challenges. Even when errors occur, begin by acknowledging what your child did correctly before addressing any mistakes. For example, praise their efforts by saying, "You set up the math problem correctly. You have all the right numbers written down, but let's take another look at the addition." Recognizing achievements, no matter how small, lays the groundwork for improvement and instills a sense of accomplishment.
3. Use Neutral Language:
The words we choose matter, especially when it comes to learning differences. Avoid triggering negative responses by opting for neutral language. Phrases like "wrong" or "mistake" can lead to shut-downs. Instead, choose constructive alternatives such as "Let's look at that again" or "Let's try this part again." This intentional use of language keeps the focus on learning and encourages a growth-oriented mindset in your child.
4. Teach Positive Self-Talk:
Children with learning challenges may develop a negative mindset, believing they can't succeed academically. This negative perception triggers stress reactions, hindering their ability to overcome challenges. Help your child combat these feelings by introducing positive self-talk. Collaborate on creating a list of affirmations like:
I love a challenge.
I'm just having trouble, but I can do this!
Mistakes are chances to learn.
Drawing inspiration from educational specialists like Hettie Johnson and the teachings of Carol Dweck, who emphasizes the power of a growth mindset, these strategies aim to create a supportive learning environment. By implementing these expert-backed approaches, parents can create a supportive learning environment, fostering resilience and boosting their child's self-esteem. The insights provided by these specialists contribute to building a positive perception of challenges in your child's academic journey.
Navigating the learning journey with a child facing learning differences demands patience, understanding, and proactive strategies. By embracing the techniques outlined in this guide, parents can transform what might feel like "homework wars" into opportunities for growth. This process builds a foundation for a resilient and positive academic mindset, where every challenge becomes a chance for learning and growth. Remember, as a parent, you play a crucial role in shaping your child's perception of challenges and fostering their success in the realm of learning.
Sources:
1. Hettie Johnson's Specialist Spotlight: Learning Ally
2. Carol Dweck's TED Talk: "The Power of Believing That You Can Improve"
